The other day at work, a friend shared this song with me, and it’s been a long time since I’ve heard something so beautifully written and performed.
This performance features Sara Bareilles, a singer, songwriter, actress, and pianist. She sings alongside Rufus Wainwright, a Canadian/American singer, songwriter, and composer. This is from a 2024 concert, which aired on New Year’s Eve, where Bareilles performed with the National Symphony Orchestra and featured several special guest singers, including Wainwright.
“She Used to Be Mine” was written by Bareilles for Waitress: The Musical, an adaptation of the 2007 film. More than just a song, it’s a powerful reflection on identity, change, and the struggle of losing oneself. It captures the universal feeling of drifting away from the person we once hoped to become.
The song appears in Act 2 of Waitress, during a pivotal moment for the main character, Jenna. A talented pie baker and waitress in the South, Jenna uses baking as an escape from her unhappy marriage to her abusive husband, Earl. Pregnant with his child, she sings She Used to Be Mine as she reflects on how her life has turned out.
Fun Fact: Not only did Sara Bareilles write the music for the show, but she also starred in the lead role on Broadway in 2021.
Bareilles has said the song resonates because “the chasm between who we are and who we thought we would be is always something we’re negotiating.” The song’s message transcends gender, age, and time, making it deeply relatable to anyone who’s dealt with these feelings and reflections.
In this performance, Rufus Wainwright joins Bareilles for a stunning duet. Both artists bring incredible emotion to the stage, making it feel like a heartfelt conversation. You almost feel like one is supporting the other while they share their hurt during their solo. My favorite moment of all is during the joint verse where Rufus harmonizes above her. Time almost stands still.
I hope this song encourages you as much as it does me—to accept where you are, to acknowledge both growth and setbacks, and to take a deep breath and be okay. And I hope you have a tissue ready. I did not.
Song: “She Used To Be Mine”
Artist: Sara Bareilles & Rufus Wainwright
Year Performed: 2024
It’s not simple to say
Most days I don’t recognize me
That these shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used to be
Although it’s true
I was never attention’s sweet center
I still remember that girl
She’s imperfect but she tries
She is good but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up
And baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine
It’s not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person
And makes you believe it’s all true
And now I’ve got you
And you’re not what I asked for
If I’m honest I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over
And rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew
Who’ll be reckless just enough
Who’ll get hurt
But who learns how to toughen up when she’s bruised
And gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck
And be scared of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day
‘Til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little
To bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone
But used to be mine
She is messy but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine
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My name is Michael Sanchez and I’m an avid record collector and obscure song searcher. My goal is to post (hopefully) one song a day that’s been on my stereo/turntable frequently. If you don’t like the song… too bad 🙂 You can just wait for the next one. All the info I find is from wikipedia/youtube/interviews/news articles/personal stories I’ve heard/random googling. Sorry if there are any mistakes.
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